When Classrooms Get Contentious: Techniques for Managing Challenging Conversations in Schools

When approached with care and intention, contentious classroom discussions can also be harnessed as a tool for growth and learning. They can teach students how to navigate disagreement, express themselves thoughtfully, and listen with empathy—skills that are critical both within and beyond the classroom. 

By equipping students with tools for respectful dialogue and creating spaces where all voices are heard, educators transform moments of tension into profound opportunities for growth.

UC San Diego Education and Community Outreach at the Division of Extended Studies offers professional development courses, including a course on Facilitating Challenging Conversations in the Classroom. They present this guide on managing contentious classroom discussions.

The Value of Addressing Challenging Conversations

For educators, the ability to facilitate challenging classroom conversations brings both obvious challenges and benefits. 

On a basic level, constructively addressing conflicts helps maintain a safe and productive learning environment. 

Younger people, in particular, carry their emotions with them throughout the day. Tensions that emerge throughout the day can spill into classroom discussions and cause a major disruption, even a threat to the safety of some students. Effectively managing these conflicts is a crucial skill for any educator.

From a broader perspective, difficult conversations are also important learning opportunities. They challenge students to articulate ideas clearly, listen to differing perspectives, and build relationships across divides. 

These moments are valuable for teaching students empathy and respect, as well as other essential skills for navigating adulthood, such as collaborating with colleagues, participating in civic discourse, or fostering personal relationships. 

A teacher’s ability to mediate contentious moments and facilitate constructive discussion is integral to creating a respectful and inclusive classroom environment. It helps students feel safe and creates opportunities for students to feel heard, respected, and empowered. It also enhances the effectiveness of the educator and their authority in the classroom. 

“In the wake of a pandemic that deprived young learners of opportunities to fraternize, coupled with social media platforms that have potential to compromise both civility and restraint, practitioners must be properly outfitted with skills to embrace the challenges of brave new learning environments,” said Morgan Appel, Assistant Dean for Education and Community Outreach (ECO) at UC San Diego Extended Studies.

The Teacher as Facilitator and Mediator

For educators, effectively managing contentious conversations requires a shift in mindset. Rather than thinking of themselves as conveyors of information, teachers need to instead think of themselves as facilitators of dialogue and mediators of understanding.

"In complex and multifaceted classrooms, teachers must attend to conflict in ways that immediately defuse prospectively adverse circumstances with robust differentiated approaches that are at once cognitive, affective, and metacognitive," noted Appel. 

Self-reflection is an essential preparatory step. Educators must examine their own beliefs, biases, and fears, as these will inevitably influence their interactions with students. 

A good place for a teacher to start would be to journal on the questions below:

• What personal biases or strong opinions do I hold that might influence the conversation? 
• How can I define and communicate my role as a neutral facilitator to my students?
• What fears or discomforts do I have about facilitating challenging conversations?
• How do my personal beliefs shape the way I view my students and their contributions?

Through this process of learning to examine their own biases, educators better position themselves to empathize with multiple perspectives and foster an environment where the student’s perspectives feel valued and respected, even in moments of conflict.

Setting the Stage for Productive Dialogue

While some contentious classroom conversations can arise unexpectedly, often they are related to subjects being explored in the curriculum. If a topic is sensitive, the educator has an opportunity to prepare in advance, laying the groundwork for a productive conversation.

The first step in structuring these conversations is to provide clarity and purpose. Students need to understand why the topic matters and how it connects to the curriculum. When students see the purpose behind the discussion, they are more likely to engage with curiosity and respect.

For instance, a history teacher might frame a discussion on civil rights by tying it to broader questions of equity and justice in the modern world. 

Similarly, a science teacher discussing climate change could highlight its relevance to current ethical questions about consumerism and responsibility to the greater good.

Building a Community of Trust

Another cornerstone of a classroom capable of navigating challenging conversations is trust. Students need to feel that their perspectives are valued and will be respected. 

This foundation doesn’t happen by chance—it requires deliberate effort and collaboration between educators and students. This involves engaging students in defining the norms that govern their shared space. When students are active participants in shaping their classroom community, they are more likely to feel invested in maintaining it. 

One effective way to do this is by collaboratively developing a defined set of community guidelines. These are a set of rules set by the classroom community to govern how they all are expected to treat each other. 

Examples of community guidelines might include:

• Listen with an open mind.
• Respect everyone’s right to speak without interruption.
• Avoid harmful language or personal attacks.
• Challenge ideas, not individuals.
• Value diverse perspectives.

A powerful starting point for creating these guidelines is offering the students a reflective journal prompt, such as, “I feel safe in this class when…” or “I know my perspective is being respected when…”

Once they’ve had a chance to consider their thoughts for themselves they can work in small groups to clarify their ideas and identify common themes. From there the class can craft a list of norms that reflect their collective priorities and values.

Once you have these guidelines, display them prominently in the classroom and reference them during moments of tension or conflict, especially if one is ever breached. This step reinforces the importance of the community guidelines and keeps them at the forefront of classroom interactions.

“It is essential to equip our teachers with the leadership skills to create a culture of compassion and understanding amongst our younger generation,” said Amy Duncan, Program Manager for UC San Diego Extended Studies ECO. “To navigate differing perspectives and experiences with composure and maturity is crucial in this present climate.”

Promoting a "Call-In" Culture

Another important conflict resolution strategy for instructors to incorporate into contentious discussions is a “call-in” culture. 

Many people—students and adults alike—default to a “call-out” approach when there are disagreements. They focus on pointing out mistakes or harmful behavior, often with an undertone of shame, rather than inviting the perpetrator to perhaps rethink their position or reflect on how it might affect others. “Calling in” asks for dialogue and mutual problem-solving. It emphasizes curiosity and empathy over condemnation. 

For example, instead of reacting to a provocative comment by shutting it down, a ‘call in’ approach might be to say, “I’m curious about the point you’re making. Can you explain more about what you mean?” or “Thanks for sharing your perspective. Are you open to hearing how this idea impacts others?”

By creating a “calling in” culture, the educator shifts the goal of the conversation from winning an argument to achieving mutual understanding. 

This approach encourages students to pause, reflect, and engage thoughtfully, teaching them how to navigate conflict with compassion. It also helps de-escalate tense situations before they become unmanageable.

This preparation not only helps de-escalate potential conflicts but also creates a space where students can grow intellectually and emotionally.

Preparing Students for the Future: A Transformative Opportunity

While moments of high emotion can feel uncomfortable, they often become some of the most memorable and impactful in a student’s educational journey. 

When educators manage these situations thoughtfully, they not only restore balance to the classroom but also model how to navigate conflict with empathy and respect. 

These discussions foster critical thinking, empathy, and collaboration—skills that are increasingly essential in our interconnected and often polarized society. 

They prepare the next generation not just to succeed academically, but to lead with empathy and make a lasting impact.

Learn more about managing classroom discussions with the UC San Diego Extended Studies Facilitating Challenging Conversations in the Classroom course.